I’m sorry for being so M.I.A. I’m not even sure if anyone is reading this and if I’ve lost any followers it’s totally my fault for neglecting this. Anyway I just wanted to say goodbye , I feel as though nothing is helping my depression. I advised you all I believe in Gebruary of last year that I was having these feelings and they’re really not going away 😓. I’m to the point now where I just don’t understand why God keeps letting me wake up. I beg him to take this pain from me I bed him and ask him why wake up if everyday I’m going to feel this pain. I just don’t feel good enough anymore. I have a good job however that increases my anxiety and it’s to the point now where I haven’t been there since August ! Can you believe that? My anxiety is so bad in that place that my doctor literally took me out. So I suppose I’m grateful I won’t have to feel every part of my body shakes physically because I’m scared of the abuse that those clients will make me feel😓. Not everyone understands that even if you have a couple loved ones you can still feel alone. I feel so alone I feel surrounded by others who are unable to see where I am coming from because they dont feel the things I feel they don’t have the anxiety or depression issues I have. Today I felt like the worst daughter ever because my mother (she is my angel) tried to console me and it just didn’t help you guys. I mean it’s comforting to know she is always there for me nmw but come on who wants to put their own burdens on their mother who already has her own you know ? I don’t want her to feel worst because of me. I have always felt alone when it comes to my feelings because I was in a lot of situations where I was alone and I just had to deal with the results of traumatic situations in my own. I’m so tired of trying and faking being strong I just don’t want to be here anymore I really don’t I want to put everyone out their misery and just disappear . 😥 I won’t keep going because this is probably really annoying for someone else to read . Also I ha e a migraine from crying since idk when so I wish everyone the best and I hope no one else ever has to feel this way. Please understand thank you for whoever still follows me , best wishes .